I’m writing a book about Tending Your Dreams right now—this one is specifically for women who hold onto hope while they wonder, “When will it be my turn?” But what we say to ourselves will help determine when and if we succeed at our dream tending efforts. Your voice matters, especially when it comes to pursuing what you want the most.
It was Henry Ford who said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Something I I’d remind you is, “Every dream starts with what the mind hears.”
I can remember being a young mom with a sweet little toddler who believed my every waking hour belonged to him. Even the bathroom wasn’t sacred. But one day, I felt like a little stuck and as if my life would never change. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts, so I made my little guy stay outside, while I locked the door to the bathroom, and let water run in the tub.
He cried so hard, and his little hand swept back and forth beneath the door as he cried out, “Mommy. Mommy. I want you.” In that moment, I was tempted to unlock the door as guilt and resentment swirled together. And then I began to beat myself up. Moms weren’t supposed to act this way were they? Wasn’t it my duty to put my child above my own needs? Was there something wrong with me for wanting to be more than a mother? After all, I adored my children—they were desperately wanted and loved. But while I tended to everyone else’s needs, sometimes I couldn’t help wondering who was tending mine. At that time, even I wasn’t doing such a great job of it.
But I learned that day that my child and I could both survive if I gave myself a short mental and emotional break. Actually, we were both the better for it. I stepped out of that tub feeling a little less frustrated and a little more refreshed. I began to realize that motherhood did not mean a tradeoff for my dreams. It simply meant I would have to be smart, strategic, and take small steps until I could pour myself more fully into some of the deeper desires hidden in my heart.
And changing the things I said to myself would help me hold onto hope while I waited for my turn. One thing I had to release were the when-thens. Those statements we make to ourselves when we justify not taking at least one action toward what we say we want. We say things like:
“When I finish this, then I’ll do something different.”
“When I get through this tough spot, then I’ll be able to do something different.”
“When I save more money, then I’ll be able to afford to do something different.”
The truth is, you can do at least one different thing today—something positive and active toward making your dreams come true.
Drop the when-thens, and challenge yourself to do at least one proactive thing toward making your dreams come true today. Find educational resources related to what you want to do.
Sign up for a class.
Buy a book.
Listen to a podcast.
Practice. So many dream tenders tell themselves they’ll work on their dream when everything aligns, but I can tell you, life will never align perfectly. If you want to fulfill your dreams, you’re going to have to start doing something when it’s not easy. You’ll have to talk yourself through tough spots and frustration as life sometimes seems to conspire against you.
So how do you do that?
- Separate facts from feelings by writing each down as they relate to your present circumstances.
- Face your fears of success as well as your scares of failure.
- Remember, you don’t have to do your dreams—you get to!
What are you telling yourself about yourself and your dream tending pursuits?
This episode’s Dream Tending Tips:
- Get alone with your thoughts and focus on self-awareness. You can’t think clearly when your mind is cluttered, and you can’t capture thoughts when you don’t pay attention to them.
- When pity-party thinking sets in, take those emotional lies captive and send them to the gallows.
- The human brain is not capable of thinking two polar opposite thoughts simultaneously. So when fear and insecurity threaten your dreams, smother them with quotes about courage and confidence.
- If an I can’t pops into your head, replace it with a review list of people who overcame incredible odds. The only person stopping you from eventually inspiring others through resolve, determination, and perseverance is you.
- Tend your dreams daily by creating a Pinterest board with inspirations and motivations. If you need a jump-start on ideas, quotes, exercises, etc., check out my Tending Your Dreams™ board. You can find me under Anita Brooks – Author.
- Ask your friends about their self-talk struggles. When we realize we’re not alone, we automatically gain a boost of boldness and energy.
- Replace mental down-grading thoughts with affirmations reminding yourself of your gifts, talents, and abilities.
Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie34 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.
Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4×4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.
But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.
Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:
Never stop believing.
Dare to dream bigger.
Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.